Recently, I’ve had a couple of people tell me that they find it easy to open up to me and tell me stuff that they rather would not have. It got me thinking about what parts of me make it that way, seeing as I am not the most approachable…

Do you want me to tell you a secret, something so dark, so sinister,

It’d make your skin crawl, burn you and leave blisters,

A secret so profound, it shakes you to the core,

It makes you wonder just what kind of a man I really am.

Do you want…

When love comes, it hits you like a hurricane,

It tosses and throws you around, like a rag-doll in the wind,

It tears through your defences, grinding them to dust,

Those massive towers you’ve built around your heart, all swiftly destroyed

When love comes around, it hits you as fast…

So, close friends probably know that I have a thing for older women. I’ve been this way since 2012 at least. How much was I into older women you may ask? Well, enough that I’ve found some people who were definitely older than 40 attractive.

Where it all began

I didn’t have a lot…

If walls could talk, I wonder what they’d say,

Maybe they’d go off about your poor choice of paint colors,

And wonder what kinda weirdo paints them with a mix of pink and yellow,

They’d go off on you like hey, ‘Boy here has a poor sense of colors. …

So, this is going to be an attempt at trying to show why I’m extremely pessimistic, or as a therapist put it, why I seem to have a strong negative bias. I’d be walking you through some parts of my life that likely shaped what I am now. This would be different from what I normally write.

Primary School

This was probably one of the periods where I was at my most optimistic but doesn’t mean it was all sweets and roses . …

Close up picture of a woman’s eye

Her eyes. That’s what drew me in, eyes that shined like the sun striking a bald man’s head in the middle of summer. There was something in there that called out to me, more enticing than a siren’s song, more alluring than a thousand pearls.

Must be weird seeing me…

Kachi

I want you to step in, and fall in love with my pretty weird thoughts

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